Absolutely Positive..

I have positively had enough of the 100 degree days and appreciate that daytime temperatures are dropping. Summer is officially over and almost as if someone flipped a switch that ends summer and starts fall, it’s cooler in the morning and milder during the day. So, the temperature will continue to drop and by December, I will positively be complaining about how cold it is and be counting the days until spring returns.

I will positively be raking and blowing the neighbors leaves out of my yard many more times than I can count for at least two more months, just as I have been doing two or three times a week, all year. That nasty ice storm that hit town a decade ago, killed both elm trees that stood in our front yard. We have vines and bushes but no trees left. However, our next door neighbor has a huge sycamore in their front yardf and two other nearby neighbors have towering magnolia trees. The leaves keep coming. I take my blower and clear my yard of leaves and within a couple of hours, they’re back. Thank you neighbors. I need the exercise. And if you wake up one morning and your trees are resting in a horizontal position in your yard, I absolutely and positively did not see anything or have any part in it. I was probably in my yard again raking up YOUR leaves but saw nothing. I swear.

I am positively too fat. I would probably look like a pear if not for my trips to the gym. Upper body development came via weight training but the slowly increasing landscape at the middle must be attributed to home cooking, age-related predisposal and a sweet tooth. Now I look like an hourglass. The calories have found a home there around the beltline and I’m going to have to do some research and fact-finding to see what must be done, short of getting liposuction, to get rid of that inner tube that I’m carrying around. Long gone are the days when I could stuff my face at every meal and not gain a pound. I’ve tried becoming a vegetarian but couldn’t stick with it. I’ve tried paleo but had only limited success with it. Fat, no fat, low fat, keto, grass fed, paleo, high carb, low carb, no carb? What is the magical formula to burn the belly fat? Obviously, I haven’t found it.

I am positive that there are reasons why flies and mosquitos thrive on this planet for reasons, other than to pester and bite me when I haven’t done a damn thing to deserve that kind of attention from them. I’ve killed as many of them as possible but it’s uphill battle and I’m not gaining any ground, that’s for sure. Why do those flies keep landing on me when there’s so many alternative choices? Why do those damn mosquitos keep biting me? I haven’t done anything to piss them off that I can think of. Something must rely on both of these as a food source (that’s my best guess) Bats eat mosquitos and birds eat flies (another guess). It could just be the fact that there’s so many of them, that bats and birds are sick of eating them and they’re multiplying unchecked. No population control. I’ve heard that if you use a lot of garlic in your food, it’s a natural repellant for flies and mosquitos. However true that may have been, I think that once the word got out on how healthy garlic is (and good for your heart), these two types of pests have developed a taste for garlic. Just my luck!

I am positively retired. Two years, three months and six days to be exact. Sounds great, doesn’t it? Retirement can have a negative effect on a health. To be programmed to wake up every weekday and head down the road to your 9 to 5 job for years, then not have a job to go to, can take a toll on your health if you don’t stay busy. After I retired, I was very busy. I was constantly working on different wood projects, going to the gym, biking down at the River. Now, for no apparent reason, except that my woodworking projects have grinded to a halt to curb expenses at the local Lowe’s store, I’m getting bored, so bored that I’m considering going out and trying to find a job. Part time? Full time? I have yet to decide. Do I want to get back into the field that I left, in favor of retirement? Well, that could mean working nights and sleeping during the day, which is not healthy. I could just find a gravy job, something for the exercise that would also provide some additional income. I’m weighing my options. I need to get busy or get a job. I’m positive about that.

I’m positive that a cooked turkey leg is not worth $12.00, as tasty as it might be. But the state fair is back in town and in a couple of days, it opens at the fairgrounds and over a million people will crawl out of the woodwork, empty out the trailer parks and crowd the midway, chomping on turkey legs, cotton candy, apple fritters and mini-donuts until the last food booth closes and the last ride shuts down, a week from Sunday. I’m positive I won’t be one of them. From a mile and a half away, that noise will carry to my house, disrupting my sleep, and cars will line the streets between here and there from noon to midnight for ten days straight. Same food, same rides, same crowds and the only different will be the higher prices. No thank you.

And that….is all the positivity I have to share at this time. This segment is positively over.